Earlier this week, I had a fun conversation with someone about people being authentic. At the onset, he didn’t know my business slogan starts with ‘People like to do great at work while being authentic’…. What does that even mean?
A superficial definition may be, “I do what I want, when I want and how I want.” In that vein, I’ve recently heard a number of songs with old men singing, “I am who I am; take it or leave it, it’s me.” Let me be clear, that is not authenticity. That’s despair and anger.
Yesterday, I saw a person who is unhoused and almost certainly dependent on methamphetamine panhandling for survival. We often use the notion of ‘I am who I am, flaws and all’ to endorse or accept all types of behavior or circumstances. But this person who was standing there is not living an authentic life.
Authenticity is full of hope, promise, energy and emotion. We are born full of hope and energy. We only need to watch the joy of young kids being raised in safe, loving environments. To put this into the language of well-being, living authentically means we find our lives full of purpose and meaning with some deep, positive friendships.
When I help people live more authentically, it shows up in different ways. Some people improve their relationship with themselves through self-compassion (acceptance/optimism) and self-care (strengths-building, healthy lifestyle). Others change how they relate to others by changing how and where to focus their time and energy. Leaders and teams intentionally focus on strengths and develop optimal ways to care for each other while doing their work.
We all know authenticity when we see it. When someone is being true to themselves, they come alive. They are full of passion. Humans are relational beings, and we can choose positive relationships that build each other up. It’s what keeps me at this work.
At Candid, we build relationships that create joy. Let’s help you build that authentic life you crave! See you soon!
-Dr. Joe
